


Life in Blue

by 20gayteeneds



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 19:39:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14576193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/20gayteeneds/pseuds/20gayteeneds
Summary: "Your lips reminded me of the color blue. A light warm blue. One you would see on a spring day. A day where all you could do was sit outside and enjoy the breeze. Everytime we kissed from there on I saw some variation of that shade, and every time felt like the first time."Eddie tells the story of his first love.





	Life in Blue

I remember the day I met you.  
I was 5 and you were six and it was the first day of kindergarten. I was scared of the germs and you were scared of the adults, not that you would ever show that fear. You loved, well love, being the strong type. Never liked showing insecurities, always joking, always reassuring. Maybe that's what made me drawn to you.  
That or the fact you were the only person who would sit with me at recess. I didn't want to get dirty and you understood that.  
Some kids tried to get me to play, but I could her my mother's warnings about sickness and infections in the back of my mind. Bill, one of the kids and who later became a great friend, sooner or later gave up and pointed you out to me on the other side of the playground.  
You were just sitting there, observing your surroundings and taking it all in. And so, I gathered my courage and went over to you.  
“Hi.” It was a pretty good start.  
You smiled big at me and made some joke about my bright shirt and from that point on we became inseparable.  
Flash forward to 5 months later.  
By this time you knew everything there was to know about my young mind and vise versa.  
You knew about my overbearing germaphobe of a mother and my fragile father. And I knew about your alcoholic mom and your absent dad. Or deadbeat as you called him, learning that from you mom.  
We looked back on the word years later, declaring it your first bad word out of many.  
My father had an accident one day while I was at school and my mother was running errands. He was already weak from the cancer and shortly after mom found him and took him to the hospital, he died.  
The next year was hard. I'm so glad I had you.  
The death of my father affected my mother very badly. Her already controlling behavior became borderline oppressive. I was barely let outside for, except for school, for three years.  
The only thing that made those bland days livable was your humor. Sure it got us in trouble quite a bit in class, but it was always worth it.  
I lived for your jokes and so did everyone else. You became the class clown and I was your nerdy sidekick. Never one without the other, always a pair.  
That's how things went from first grade to seventh. In seventh grade we finally start our own little group, a cliche, a club, however you want to describe it. But no matter what it was ours.  
Me, you, Bill, Mike, Ben, Beverly, and Stan.  
I'm so happy we made that group, I would have never been able to make it through the rest of high school without them. Bill was my second best friend, you always being the first.  
It was eighth grade when I realized my feelings for you were less platonic and more romantic. It was year that everything terrified me. I'm pretty most people knew before I did except no one said anything. You, though, seemed as oblivious as ever, and for the most part I was thankful for that.  
My crush went unspoken until sophomore year. I didn't think going to that party was ever gonna be a good idea but you begged and begged and I could never say no to you.  
So there I was in my bedroom putting on some outfit you picked out for me and trying to ignore my mother from the living room shouting out warning about how to know when my drink was spiked and what to do if I had an asthma attack and couldn't find my inhaler. I wasn't going to drink, you didn't like it. I wasn't going to have an asthma attack, because you were going to be by my side and you could always calm me down.  
I heard you truck before I could see it. The piece of junk was so loud and dirty but you loved it all the same.  
“The only thing that's of worth that my dad gave to the world.” You would always say when I brought this up.  
I would just shake my head and think, but he gave us you.  
I was rushing through the living room and sliding on my shoes before you could reach the door, knowing my mom would never let me leave if it was you picking me up.  
Other the past years my mother developed a certain disliking of you loud and foul mouth, which is weird because I grew to love it.  
“Eddie - Bear, where are you going to so fast?! Oh no, you better not be leaving with that hoodlum! Get back here right now!”  
Her complaint were drowned out my the sound of your radio and our laughter.  
The party was the best thing I have ever been to.  
As it turns out you did reciprocate my feelings. You made the shocking confession on the back porch of Betty Ripsons house, over a cup of fruit punch.  
You mumbled something about me hating you and how sorry you were but all I could do was smile and stare at you with wide eyes. And then suddenly my lips were on yours and everything felt right.  
Your lips reminded me of the color blue. A light warm blue. One you would see on a spring day. A day where all you could do was sit outside and enjoy the breeze. Everytime we kissed from there on I saw some variation of that shade, and every time felt like the first time.  
Sometimes later that night we became official and told our friends a week later.  
They were so supportive. I don't know why we ever thought they wouldn't be.  
Finally things in my life started falling into place. Junior year passed by. It was a year filled with dates and colleges selections. The year of I loves you and promises of forever. Some nights were filled with you crying over your parents or me ranting about my mother, who did not take the news of us very well and triggered her need to control. That was also the year you developed your addiction to cigarettes. I thought they were disgusting things so you would always go outside and do it.  
While you had your cigarettes I had my music. It always ranged in types. Sometime it was the 80s, others it was current top 100, others in was 90s rock. It always depended on my mood. I knew so much that it became a running joke within our group.  
“Hey, buddy. What's today's song. Something catchy I hope.”  
Senior year was the start of the end.  
The year you changed and I stubbornly stayed the same. You branched off into other groups, I stayed in my safe bubble. Safety was always my main priority. You decide you wanted more variation.  
And apparently so did the kids at school. Normally they just talked to you for your jokes and your witty comebacks but now you had started getting you looks. The looks I always saw and loved but now the others saw then as well.  
You loved the compliments, you never made them back, but never failed to pay attention to them. And like post people in my situation would, I got jealous.  
I don't like jealousy. Its green and rude, and very very ugly. It made me feel ugly.  
You would say, “Baby, I'm yours and only yours. You and me forever.”  
And I believed you. Why wouldn't I? All I ever felt was love and love with you, but it was other people that influenced my jealousy to make itself known.  
It was never a secret that I didn't like myself. I didn't like my short stature or high voice. My need to clean everything, how often I needed to correct people. They knew if they tried hard enough I would eventually feel so bad about myself that I would just leave the picture all together.  
You wouldn't let me. You never failed to mention how much you loved my height of 5’6 or the way my light brown hair perfectly contrasted with you black wild curls. It was a beautiful look in your opinion.  
But like I said, this was the year of change.  
Slowly your reassurance became less and less believable and more forced. I still believed you felt those thing about me and still felt fireworks when we kissed, but I didn't think you did.  
You later told me that it was your fault and not mine, that was the unbelievable part.  
It was April when you finally said the words that crushed me. You said, “Eddie, baby, I don't think I can do this anymore.”  
You cried and so did I. Years and years of love suddenly came crashing down.  
We had our last kiss. This kiss felt grey and messy. Instead of being a spring day, it was the blueish grey you saw over the ocean before a storm. A storm that would destroy boats and ruin lives. That storm was inside my chest and the boat was my heart.  
You could walk away from that and you did. But me? That ruined me for a good few years.  
The rest of the school,year was spent crying on Bills and Mikes shoulders. It felt like a divorce, where some kids went with one parent and the rest went with the other.  
I had Bill, Mike, Ben and you had Beverly and Stan.  
I didn't see you much around school. You were avoiding me. I knew it, you knew it, our friends knew it. Even the teachers knew!  
You never explained why you broke it off and that probably what hurt the most. I didn't know what I did wrong and you didn't give me the chance to fix it. I wish there was something i could've fixed it or at least made peace with it.  
Graduation day came. You went off to UCLA and I went to Columbia. I think those schools matched out personalities. You were warm and wild and I was stuffy and professional.  
My depression was pretty bad the first year of college and if it wasn't for the fact that Mike also went there I probably wouldn't have made it.  
I tried to forget you and I thought I was doing a pretty good job at it. I got a job and was doing well in my classes. That's why I was so shocked when I saw you at Mike's party. I shouldn't been surprised really. We were Twenty-three and it was his engagement celebration.  
You looked as good as ever, California really treated you well. I couldn't form the words to tell you, the surprise of seeing you there was clouding my mind.  
But you struck up a conversation with me and it felt like we were fourteen again. I felt like a new man. And slowly we fell back into a friendship. It was hard, being close to you but not as close as I wanted. You explained that you had finished your bachelors degree and moved to new york, getting a job at some tattoo parlor you went to when you were 18. It's amazing that you ended up owning that shop.  
It took two years of us being friends again for you to finally tell me why you broke things off. You parents found out about us and the rest is pretty self explanatory. I forgave you easily.  
After another two years we were finally twenty-seven. I got the job and you became the owner. It was the year of many good things. But I think the best thing is that me and you got back together. The world became blue again. I had grown to hate the color but now I think I could live with it. Not only that but it was 2015, which means people were more accepting. June was a fantastic month.  
The next month you proposed and I felt whole.  
It is now a year later and also the night before our wedding. You are out with some of your friends and I'm writing this. I think I'll slip in onto your outfit for the morning so you'll see it first thing tomorrow.  
I love you so much and I have since before I knew what love was. I love your hair, your voice, your kindness, your jokes that you seem to hide your sadness with, I love when you let me see you vulnerable, everything about you. Except maybe the way you fold your laundry but that's not the point.  
Tomorrow I'm gonna become the happiest man and I am so thankful that it's with you. So I'm saying goodnight and telling you good morning. I love you. I can't wait till my blue becomes a lifelong thing. Tomorrow I'll become Eddie Tozier - Kaspbrak and you'll be Richie Tozier - Kaspbrak.  
Love your soon to be spouse,  
Eddie.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a couple months ago and finally got the nerve to post it (!!) Also richie's parents were mentioned and obviously not for a good thing. I normally head canon them as awesome parents (which is basically canon), but in this they're shitty. I'm sorry!


End file.
